This what, and how, my friend orders wine + liquor from me.

Mr. Sasson,

I trust you are well. Would you please do me the service of recommending and assisting in my procurement of some fine oenological and spirituous beverages?  It would be most pleasing to me if you could supply the following:
 - Three (3) bottles of red wine 
 - Three (3) bottles of white wine
 - One (1) bottle of Bulleit Rye Whiskey
 - One (1) bottle of Scotch or peated Irish whiskey (that is, a whiskey from Britannia of smokey character)
 - One (1) bottle that, in your discretion, would be viewed by those who are knowledgeable of such things as an improvement upon my most humble existing stock.
I hereby authorize you, sir, to bill any associated expense to my instrument of credit.  Please deliver said items to my home at a time convenient to you. 
I am most sincerely in your debt,
——————————————-

Saturday Night Live’s:

The Legend of Mokiki and the Sloppy Swish

Part Manu Chao’s ‘Me Gustas Tu’, part Mad Professor captures Pato Banton

100% funny.

youmightfindyourself:

Homer: So, I realized that being with my family is more important than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: “It’s hip to be square”.
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it’s… cool?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I…

Tags: people cool funny

6 reasons to carry a handkerchief.

6 reasons to carry a handkerchief.

(Source: nevver, via excelsiorplace)

Get a spot at your friendly neighborhood parking lot.

Get a spot at your friendly neighborhood parking lot.

nevver:

Sports Plague!

Just because this is awesome and deserves an occasional re-post:

"In celebration of the greatest athletic achievement by a man on a psychedelic journey, No Mas and artist James Blagden proudly present the animated tale of Dock Ellis’ legendary LSD no-hitter. In the past few years we’ve heard all too much about performance enhancing drugs from greenies to tetrahydrogestrinone, and not enough about performance inhibiting drugs. If our evaluation of the records of athletes like Mark McGwire, Roger Clemens, Marion Jones, and Barry Bonds needs to be revised downwards with an asterisk, we submit that that Dock Ellis record deserves a giant exclamation point. Of the 263 no-hitters ever thrown in the Big Leagues, we can only guess how many were aided by steroids, but we can say without question that only one was ever thrown on acid.

Sadly, the great Dock Ellis died last December at 63. A year before, radio producers Donnell Alexander and Neille Ilel, had recorded an interview with Ellis in which the former Pirate right hander gave a moment by moment account of June 12, 1970, the day he no-hit the San Diego Padres. Alexander and Ilels original four minute piece appeared March 29, 2008 on NPRs Weekend America. When we stumbled across that piece this past June, Blagden and Isenberg were inspired to create a short animated film around the original audio.”

I wear a ‘Short Boxed Beard’…with modified mustache tips.

nevver:

Beard tips

'In the Criminal Justice system….
harharhar:

Beautiful: Law & Order & Food (thanks Andrew!)

'In the Criminal Justice system….

harharhar:

Beautiful: Law & Order & Food (thanks Andrew!)

Boy Howdy.

mostexerent:

Kate Upton does the Cat Daddy

Shit wine snobs say.

Dutch Domino’s Electric Scooters Say ‘Vroom’ and ‘Pizza’

Domino’s in the Netherlands thought they’d go ahead and be all green and whatever by buying a bunch of electric pizza delivery scooters, but then it turned out the things were totally silent when running and were dangerous for pedestrians and bikers. Way to save the environment, guys. Anyway, their solution to the problem was to record a guy saying things like “vroom” and “pizza” and “lekker” (Dutch for yummy) and “Dominos Dominos Dominos” and play the audio as the scooter tooled around town. Watch as the so-called Safe Sound scooter surprises unsuspecting Dutch bikers.